First, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to airairo!!! Hope you had a great birthday full of awesomeness and more awesomeness^^

And just in case, so I won't forget, HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance to la_soffitta!!! You deserve everything that's awesome in the world <3333 I hope you get a chance to relax and enjoy yourself on your special day *hugs*

I haven't been able to do my ありがたいmeme in a few days but I haven't quit yet!
So for today~

grateful for: My Mom! I had a chance to have a long chat with her on skype and I realized again how blessed I am to have a Mom that loves and supports me unconditionally. We may not always see eye to eye but she's always there for me. Thanks, Mom! ♥

happy thing: The highlight of this week. And what may that be, you ask? Look below XD

Highlight of the week:



The real King of Pop is ....... Subaru??! :OO
LOLOLOL

As much as I miss Can!Jani I'm loving Kanpani. I wish it were longer but really it's like Janiben if you take away the guests and cut right to the best part, the games/crack XD So yes, good stuff XD I wish there was more to the music part though.

Btw, did you guys watch the latest subbed ep of Can!Jani? Wow, Ohkura. Just, wow. Haha. The guy was either hungover or possibly still drunk. The stumbling, the stupid comments, the sleeping...
It was his usual lazy/scaredy cat persona but set on high. LOL. Keep it real, Kura, keep it real.

So... how does everyone like the new single? Did you all get your copies?

I'd planned on going to Shinjuku on the 4th to get my single but when I was in Shibuya on the 3rd and walked by the Tower Records I was assaulted by Eito XD It was like a ( Kanjani fun house XD )

I'm going to try to spend less time on LJ from now on because I need to focus more on rl stuff. So if I'm not commenting as much not that I comment as much as I should anyway or if I'm sometimes not around that's why. I still love you all though ♥ ♥

Take care :)))

♥ and ∞

Yay! I have more userpics now thanks to bubbalooee9 who get me more userpic space for my birthday. Thanks, Bel ♥

Anyway, I have to do my meme so:

Thing I was grateful for today - Fourth period was cancelled. I had a headache so it was nice to relax instead.

Thing that made me happy - My friend got us tickets to go see the Dalai Llama on Saturday!! I'm really excited about this XDD

That's all^^

♥ and ∞

Ok.

So lately I've been feeling a little more positive and I realized that I was just thinking too much and had lost sight of some very important things. Yes I've been sick, but even slightly before that everything was kind of feeling like a chore and I was just in an overall ugh! mood. I mean, half the time I didn't want to leave my room. Well, someone was obviously in a funk. Anyway, so I asked myself, why is my life the way it is? All of the things I'm supposed to do that suddenly I don't feel like doing, why did I choose to do them in the first place? The way my life is, the things I'm involved in, they're all products of my choices. So why am I complaining?! It's a matter of choosing the same things over and over. I have to choose every day to want to go to work because I know I need the money. I have to choose to cook a healthy meal because I want to be good to my body (as opposed to going to the conbini or McDonalds which is just next door >__<). When there are things I want I have to choose to put myself out there despite the fear of rejection. Everything; every moment is a choice. I sort of forgot that. And I forgot that the reason for my choices should be love, not avoidance. Making easy choices to avoid bad feelings or purely for convenience.... DUMB.

So I'm trying to get back on track now.

SO. With that in mind.

Meme.

I call it the ありがたい meme. Every day for the next week let's all say one thing that made us happy during the day and one thing we were grateful for. I tag every single one of you on my f-list <33

Day 1:

I'm grateful~ That my fourth class was canceled because I had more time to get to my job interview which was all the way in Saitama!

Happy thing~ I was going to say shopping.... but I just watched the new PV. And what's more happy than Eito being their usual cracky selves? XDD

( Crack of the EITO variety XD )

In summary, I can't wait for next Wednesday!!! Bring it, Kanjani! Me and my wallet are ready for your single!

Also, I was playing with clothes again. It's been a while since I've posted pics of myself in front of the mirror hasn't it? I'm sure you missed it. Lol.

Actually, I just wanted to show you guys my new pink boots AND earmuffs.

I don't know why I'm so into pink lately, I just AM. Oh the wonderful phases we go through in life XD

( Pink...*sings Aerosmith song* )

♥ and ∞

Ever since I finished the medication they gave me for swine flu I've been better but not totally. I still have cold-like symptoms. My nose is runny like a mofo, my throat is sore, I feel a bit light headed.... nothing compared to the days I was dying with a fever but still not great. Right now I'm up because I've been trying to sleep for the last three hours but I can't because I'm having shortness of breath. What the heck, body? D: My Mom has been telling me to go back to the Doctor ever since I got a slight fever a couple of days after I was supposedly over swine flu. And she's been freaking me out telling me how people keep dying because they think they're better but then they get complications like pneumonia and suddenly get really sick again in the span of hours and by then it's too late. Thanks, Mom!!! That doesn't help me sleep or feel better!! DDD: I didn't go because I really wasn't feeling all that sick and I hate the Doctor so I thought I'd wait a bit instead to see if it was really necessary but now I'm thinking I should have listened to my Mom. I'm going to go tomorrow I've decided. Cause this is ridic. I guess I'm the only one to blame, because if I'm honest, I haven't been taking very good care of myself lately. I mean, I haven't been eating right, I've been going to bed late, going out when I don't feel so good and drinking (granted not a lot but still)...

Yoshi! Starting now health is my top priority!

Anyway, so I'm up and I was hoping I could watch the latest ep of My Girl to pass the time but it's taking forever and a day to download ;____;

So I watched the Wahaha ending credits of the DVD instead.


Wow, man. Yasuba these days. This reminded me of the argument I saw in Fukui except Subaru is less angry here and more like, 'Wth? What's with you?' But Yasu has that same, 'I'm going to smile and brush this off as nothing but really I'm upset' face.

I wish I could watch the rest of this scene. Maybe it's really nothing.

Anyway, this reminds me. I did something kind of unheard of for me and wrote fic . I haven't written fic in a loooooong time. I don't do it with enough frequency or skill to call myself a writer. But um, if you guys are interested have a look and tell me what you think! :)

The fic is my take on whatever is going on with Subassan lately.

Well, I had some Airborne and rubbed some of my Grandma's homemade pomada (it's like Vics) on my chest so I think I'll try to sleep again. Here goes!

Nighty night~~~~

First of all, thanks to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! :)

( I can't complain, it was a great one!! )

Finally this Flu is in the past y'all! Yatta!

I am feeling A LOT better. Just in time for my joint birthday party with art_house_queen. I don't think I'll stay out too late cause I still want to take it easy, but I'll be able to make it for sure which makes me all kinds of happy.

( Now she thinks. )

Alright. Now I'm off to sleep as real life starts again tomorrow. When I think of all the stuff I have to do and how behind I am I almost want to be sick again. Almost.

Take care everyone! :)

♥ and ∞

Sometimes when I'm sick I don't want to go to sleep cause I'm afraid I'll get worse during the night and no one will be there to help, or like, what if I don't wake up? I'M SO WEIRD >___>

Feeling a little better now that I have some drugs in me. Although I don't like prescription drugs and try to avoid them. Had a list of things to do since I can't believe I'm supposed to be absent from work till the end of the week x__x But didn't get anything done cause in the end I slept most of the day and didn't feel up to it so just House M.D. Ninjavideo.net is my favorite website now. I've watched so many movies in the last couple of days.

Watched My Girl too. That little girl is too cute! And lol at Hina thinking Aiba was a pedophile.

My Mom keeps calling me to check up which is nice. Also, thanks to those of you who mailed my phone. Feels less lonely


Also, um, make me feel better by commenting on my thread in the love meme? *exploits sickness*

Guess I'll try to sleep.

Night!

♥

Went to the Doctor finally.

It was Swine Flu after all DD:

Got medicine and was told to stay in for the next 3 days at least. Doctor said not to go back to work before Friday. But I'm starting to feel a bit better already.

I'm going to finish watching Sweeney Todd the movie now.

That's all <333

Today is worse than yesterday! DD:

My temperature has been at 38 all day and I don't even feel like being online :OO That's how you know it's bed. I've just been sleeping on and off and spacing out.

My neighbor was really nice and asked if I needed anything so I asked him for orange juice and water. Then kikumarie said she'd bring me soup tonight which I'm really looking forward to. I don't have the energy to get it myself or to even cook my own food. So I haven't eaten anything all day....

Anyway, I'm only online cause I have to give my birthday wishes to art_house_queen and keeni84.

They are coolest set of twins in town and some of the most awesome girls I've ever met ♥♥

I wish them all the best for their 25th year and I hope they're living it up in Korea~~~^^

Love you girls!! <333

Now I'm going back to my hole, otherwise known as my bed.

Thanks for all the get well wishes you guys left on my previous post.
For those of you who are sick too, ganbarou!

Everyone: WE MUST GET/STAY HEALTHY.

BYE.

ETA: I thought today was the 12th but it's only the 11th? So this is actually early. Oh God, haha. Guess I am out of it. Well, this counts for tomorrow. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY for the 12th of October!

*collapses*

Guys, I'm sick D:

It's not Swine Flu (I don't think) but my head is killing me and I'm coughing like crazy. My stomach is upset too and I have zero energy. I had a bunch of plans for the weekend but like this I'm not going anywhere.

I've been in bed all day so I'm tired of it but I don't feel well enough to be up and about either. It's a weird predicament.

Well, luckily it's a three day weekend and I can take it easy until this passes.

Take care, guys!

Don't get sick like me.

Sorry for this pointless entry. It's a little lonely when you're sick and have no one to take care of you. Is it weird that it occurred to me that if I died in my room no one would probably notice? I mean, at least until my landlord needed the rent and broke into my room, or until one of my friends got curious enough about not hearing from me and came to check up.... Ok, ima stop thinking pointless things, haha.

This post is dedicated to one of my favorite people, my MOM!

( MAMI HAS CLICK AQUI )

Madness I tell you!

I should be sleeping but I have to share this....

So the guy I sort of have a crush on (we're really just starting to get to know each other) we've been mailing back and forth the last couple of days... just random conversation.

I was telling him about RIZE so he asked if I go to concerts often. So I told the truth, I go when I can and recently it's mostly Kanjani8 concerts. So he tells me, Kanjani sounds like it'd be fun. I was like :OOOO So I teasingly replied, so you want to come with me next time? ;) And he just replied, Actually, yeah I might go. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

LOL.

I am in shock.

I mean. Maybe I shouldn't be... But how many 24 year old guys actually want to go to, not just Eito, but any Johnny's concert?!! I mean, right?! Haha. This is awesome and hilarious and I'm going to go to bed with a smile on my face now XD

Night everyone!^^

( めっちゃ楽しかったよ！！！ )


♥ and ∞

Ok so this journal has gotten way too serious recently o_O There's a lot of happy in my life too and I want to share that :))

( Snapshots )

Well, I think that's all the fun you guys can handle for now. I know it's all the fun I can handle. Cause it's almost 8am and I stayed awake aaaaaaall night. WTH. DD: I couldn't sleep so I got up to work on my Mom's birthday present and do some reading I had to do and suddenly the sun's coming out. I'm not even all that sleepy anymore. Weeeeird. So I thought I'd finish this post which was already open and halfway done before finally trying to sleep again.

I was going to go to the park today too... But at this rate I won't be waking up till 4pm. Uwah~~ I hate doing that. Makes me feel like I've wasted the day :/ But I guess I had a productive night/early morning so that makes up for it?

Ok, now i'm just rambling guys.

Peace Peace

As always,

♥ and ∞

ETA: I forgot some pictures! ( Hurry, click! )

WHAT IS WITH THIS INSOMNIA?! O_O SHUT DOWN MIND. SHUT DOWN AND LET ME GET SOME SLEEP!

So the hostess thing was interesting.

They want me to start next week.

WTF.

I'm still not sure this is for me. I really was mostly just curious. But I guess I'll go next week and see how I like it. I haven't signed anything so I'm pretty sure I can still back out.　Oh and one thing I didn't know is that apparently hostesses do karaoke for their customers, lol. The one thing that's right down my alley!

Silver week is coming up and my weekend is totally booked! But in a good way ;) Probably won't get a chance to answer comments and stuff. I've been so bad with that lately >__< Sorry, guys!!
I do love you all <333

Oh! I came across Kura's family restaurant when I was in Roppongi today. I'd never seen it before. Now I know how to get there :) It looked yummy! Looking forward to going with Marie and Kiyomi this week :)

Have a good weekend all!^^

♥ and ∞

( Busybusybusybusybusybusy )

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and an even better week ~~ ☆☆☆

♥ and ∞

Since returning to Tokyo I've been feeling kind of anxious. But not in a bad way. It's more like, there's so much I want to do here that I can't waste any time. I've been going to bed early, waking up early, hardly going online.... Maybe part of me feels that I missed too much already? Or perhaps, beyond that, I can't wait to see what life has in store for me so I have to move move move in order to push things along so something will manifest. I need to chill lol

But until this craziness runs its course I guess I can use it as a motivator to get stuff done.

You know, I was reading Eito's j-webs on the way back from work today and something that had me smiling was how 'fulfilled' they all sound. They are people who have found their place in this world and are doing something good with it.

I'm content. I have been for a while now. I don't believe in not being happy. I mean, obviously we all have set-backs and painful experiences, but these are part of life and must be accepted. We have more control than we think. We have control because we can choose to accept things as they are and cope with them, or we can choose to let them destroy us. It's all in how we perceive things, you know. That's why we have to find the good in everything - even if the only good thing we can come up with is 'At least I'm alive.' And if we can look at everything that's painful and say, 'Well, it's a growing experience if anything', then I think we'll be ok.

I guess reading those j-webs today made me want to finally arrive at that same point. Because I'm content but I'm not fulfilled. I'm content
because I'm alive
because I'm on a path of self-discovery
because I've come a long way from my many yesterdays
because there's more to aim for
because there's more coming my way
because I have so much left to discover and accomplish
because I'm me
because if I struggle it means at least I'm engaged
because love is mine and yours
because my dreams are my lighthouse

But I'm not fulfilled. I haven't reached that place where I feel I'm doing everything I can; where I feel I'm putting all my talents to use in order to do something worthwhile. I want to get there. I want to hurry up and get to that place so I can do what I came into this world to do. I want to give and give and give. We all come into this world and we are unique and beautiful and there's a place for all of us. A place where, if we reach it, we will burst into light and shine shine onto others - illuminating the way. Lead by example. I want to uncover that potential. I want to know who that is. The me who can brighten the whole world and leave her mark... I want to be her. I am her. Just need to pull her out first. She's buried under a bunch of shit - you know, fears, issues, insecurities, defenses... But she's doing good. She made me take notice of her presence. That in itself is a big success in my book. I'm gonna get her out eventually. I won't lose sight of her. She won't be lost or forgotten.

光を
光を

I'll push through until I REACH.

Because I'm anxious to get to her.

Right now I'm marking the path. Clearing the tunnel.
We all like to look ahead - to think of what's in store, to picture that final goal...
But each step has its time. Things take time. We need time. We have to prepare. We have to work up to things.

So I'm doing it. I'm working. I'm working each moment. By being. Hafta be in each moment. Gotta get back to the present. The present is my landscape. Now's the time - the only time to get through to you. To you.
光。











今の私はそんな感じだよ～

What will I feel like tomorrow?

Live with your hearts everyone


♥ and ∞

Hey!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Hi Tokyo XDD

It's good to be back. Though part of me feels a little funny, a little weird. Almost surreal, like 'woah, I'm back.' Or maybe that's just my delirium speaking. I can never sleep well on planes so I'm reeeeeeeeeeally tired and out of it and about five minutes away from crashing.

So, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*CRASH*

Wait, not yet. *wakes Up*

Happy Birthday elyndys!!!

OMG. Acabo de recibir el correo :OOO ajsiusfsjknfu suikascented, eres una loca vieja y te quiero un monton! ♥ ♥ ♥ Y disque que no eres buena con los dibujos? Estas loca?!! Que lindos mis muchachos <333 Si, Kura tambien. Que kakkoii se ve Y Subaru hasta con el collar y y *pone el dibujo en la pared al lado de la cama* Para que me miren y me traigan buenos suenos XDD Hurry up and get over here already! La lista de planes me tiene emocionada <333 一番

Okkkkkkk. No aguanto.

*CRASH*